Of all the virtues, gentleness is perhaps the one the saints have spoken of most — and also the one most often mistaken for mere softness of temperament. Christ gave his disciples to learn from him two inseparable things, gentleness and humility: "Learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart" (Mt 11:29, classical translation after the Vulgate)[1]. The Desert Fathers made it the guardian of charity, the doctors defined it precisely, and a Savoyard bishop of the seventeenth century spoke of it so much that he is called the "Doctor of Love."
This article does not seek to provide a method, but to let the saints' own voices be heard: what they wrote, preached, and lived concerning gentleness. We will meet Moses, whom Scripture calls "most humble" (Num 12:3), and Christ gentle even in his Passion; Saint John Cassian and Saint Augustine; Saint Francis de Sales and his friend Saint Vincent de Paul, who made gentleness one of their favorite virtues; Saint Thérèse of Lisieux and the great mystical voices. All say, in their own way, the same thing: gentleness is not a weakness, but a strength that possesses itself — charity come to its flower.
One thread runs through all these testimonies. True gentleness is neither the harsh irritability that flares up, nor the false soft gentleness that lets evil happen: it is that peaceful self-mastery that makes it possible to correct without passion, to bear without bitterness, and to win hearts where sternness obtains only an outward change. That is what the saints repeat in a thousand forms, and what this article gathers.
For the practical path — by what concrete means gentleness grows in us, its two counterfeits and its fruits — see the article How to Grow in Gentleness. This article is its counterpart: no longer the method, but the living word of the saints.
"Learn from Me": Why the Saints Spoke So Much of Gentleness
Before listening to each saint, we must understand why this theme returns so often under their pen. Three reasons intersect: the word of Christ, a beatitude, and a precise definition inherited from the doctors.
The Two Qualities Christ Gives Us to Learn from Him
Christ teaches the whole range of virtues by his entire life. But there are two he invites his disciples to learn from him in explicit terms: gentleness and humility.
"Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls." — Gospel according to Saint Matthew 11:28-29[2]
The saints never ceased to ponder this pair — gentle and humble of heart — where humility looks to God and gentleness looks to neighbor. Saint Francis de Sales sees in it the "two dear and beloved virtues" that Christ "singularly recommended": "humility perfects us toward God, and gentleness toward neighbor"[3].
"Blessed Are the Meek": A Beatitude, Not a Temperament
Gentleness does not merely figure among the virtues: it is the object of a beatitude, which places it at the heart of the Gospel's program of happiness.
"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the land." — Gospel according to Saint Matthew 5:5[4]
The saints emphasize a paradox the world does not understand: it is not the violent who possess the earth, but the meek — and they do not conquer it, they receive it as an inheritance. Gentleness is therefore not a strategy of the weak, but the condition of those to whom God gives everything.
Gentleness, Meekness, Debonairness: What the Saints Mean
The word has aged, and several terms overlap. To avoid any misunderstanding, Saint Thomas Aquinas fixed the vocabulary. Meekness (from Latin mansuetudo) is the virtue that inwardly moderates the passion of anger; debonairness is its synonym in the classical French of the saints (Francis de Sales and Vincent de Paul use it constantly).
"Meekness properly mitigates the passion of anger." (translation of the article from the Latin; see note) — Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologiae, II-II, q. 157, a. 1[5]
Meekness does not suppress anger: it makes it docile to reason. The following article (a. 2) establishes that clemency and meekness are indeed virtues, and Thomas ranks them among the virtues annexed to temperance, alongside clemency (a. 3)[6]. The spiritual tradition adds another dignity: gentleness is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit — nine in Saint Paul's list (Gal 5:22), raised to twelve by tradition and taken up by the Catechism[7]. A virtue acquired and a gift received at the same time, that is why the saints speak of it on two counts: as a struggle and as a grace.
Christ and Moses: The Two Faces of Biblical Gentleness
The saints do not draw gentleness from their temperament, but from two biblical figures they contemplate unceasingly: Moses in the Old Testament, Christ in the New.
Moses, "the Most Humble" of Men
The portrait is all the more striking because Moses was also the uncompromising leader who confronted Pharaoh and shattered the Tablets before the golden calf. Scripture nevertheless presents him as the most humble of all men:
"Now Moses was very humble, the humblest man the earth has ever borne." — Book of Numbers 12:3 (official liturgical translation, AELF)[8]
The saints draw here a decisive lesson: gentleness is not timidity. Moses is meek not because he lacks energy, but because he does not avenge personal offenses — whereas Aaron and Miriam have just criticized him, and after God's judgment, it is he who intercedes for Miriam, struck with leprosy: "God, I beg you, heal her!" (Num 12:11-13). True gentleness coexists with the greatest firmness; it concerns only the disordered movement of anger, not the zeal for justice.
Christ, "Gentle and Humble of Heart" Even to the Cross
The summit of gentleness, for all the saints, is the Passion: a God who, able to do all, does not return insult for insult.
"When he was insulted, he returned no insult; when he suffered, he did not threaten; rather, he handed himself over to the one who judges justly." — First Letter of Saint Peter 2:23[9]
This gentleness of Christ is not passivity: it is the same Lord who drives the merchants from the Temple and denounces the "whitewashed tombs." The saints conclude that gentleness does not exclude just indignation — it excludes passion in indignation. Christ is gentle because he is perfectly master of himself, never carried away, always ordered to the salvation of souls. It is this model, and not a placid temperament, that the saints seek to reproduce.
The Fathers of the Church: Gentleness, Guardian of Charity
The first spiritual masters — monks of the desert and great bishops — made gentleness, more than one virtue among others, the condition of all the others. A heart agitated by anger, they say, loses in an instant the fruit of long ascetic labors.
Saint John Cassian: "We Lose More by a Movement of Anger"
Cassian (c. 360-435) transmitted to the West the wisdom of the Desert Fathers. His hierarchy is clear: fasts, vigils, and reading are worth only by purity of heart, that is, charity — and nothing ruins it faster than anger.
"We gain less by fasting than we lose by a movement of anger; and the profit we draw from reading does not equal the harm incurred by contempt for a brother." — Saint John Cassian, Conferences, I[10]
Saint Basil and Saint Ambrose: Excluding Harshness, Keeping the Innocence of the Child
Saint Basil of Caesarea (c. 330-379), writing to Gregory of Nazianzus on the ascetic life and conversation among brethren, asks that harshness be set aside even in blame, and that measure be kept in one's words.
"Harshness is ever to be put aside, even in censuring…" (translation of the article from the NPNF English text; see note) — Saint Basil of Caesarea, Letter 2 to Gregory of Nazianzus, § 5[11]
Saint Ambrose (c. 339-397), for his part, offers an unexpected model: the child who flares up quickly but bears no grudge and runs to be reconciled. Gentleness consists in recovering that innocence without calculation, which treats no one "with cunning and artifice"[12].
Saint Augustine: "Love, and Do What You Will"
In Saint Augustine (354-430), gentleness is rooted in charity, of which it is the sensitive expression. His most famous formula does not authorize everything: it teaches that everything — including correction — must spring from love. And Augustine immediately adds that certain acts appear harsh and severe, but are done to correct, dictated by charity: gentleness therefore does not exclude firm correction.
"Love, and do what you will: if you keep silent, keep silent out of love; if you cry out, cry out of love; if you correct, correct out of love; if you forgive, forgive out of love; have at the root of your heart the root of love: from this root nothing but good can come." — Saint Augustine, Commentary on the First Letter of Saint John, treatise 7 (translation of the article from the Latin; see note)[13]
This is exactly the definition Francis de Sales will take up again: gentleness as the flower of charity, charity become amiable in its manners.
Saint Francis de Sales, the "Doctor of Love"
No saint has spoken of gentleness as much — nor with as much authority — as Francis de Sales (1567-1622), Bishop of Geneva residing in Annecy, proclaimed Doctor of the Church by Pius IX in 1877. He has been nicknamed the "Doctor of Love"[14].
A Fiery Temperament, Conquered Step by Step
The essential point, which the saints like to recall, is that Francis de Sales's gentleness was not a mere gift of nature: his biographers present it as the fruit of a long interior struggle[15]. His gentleness is therefore not only a happy temperament, but a conquered virtue — living proof that it is within reach of the most hot-tempered characters.
That is also why his master counsel is to cut anger off at the root rather than claim to use it:
"[…] since no angry man ever thought his anger to be unjust. It is therefore better to undertake to know how to live without anger than to wish to make moderate and wise use of anger […]" — Saint Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, Part III, ch. 8[16]
Gentleness, "Flower of Charity"
For Francis de Sales, gentleness is not a minor virtue: it is charity arrived at perfection, its most accomplished flowering.
""Learn from me, he says, for I am gentle and humble of heart." Humility perfects us with regard to God, and gentleness with regard to neighbor. […] [Gentleness] excels among the virtues as being the flower of charity, which, according to Saint Bernard, is in its perfection when not only is it patient, but when, besides, it is gentle and debonair." — Saint Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, Part III, ch. 8[17]
"Sugar Is More Excellent Than Salt": A Virtue for Daily Use
One of the saint's finest intuitions: there are rare and dazzling virtues — fortitude, magnanimity, magnificence — whose occasion hardly ever arises; and modest but daily-use virtues, of which gentleness is the first. It is by the latter, not by spectacular virtues, that a Christian life is measured.
"Opportunities to practice fortitude, magnanimity, magnificence do not often present themselves; but gentleness, temperance, considerateness, and humility are virtues of which all the actions of our lives must be tinged. There are more excellent virtues than these; yet the use of these is more required. Sugar is more excellent than salt; but salt has a more frequent and more general use." — Saint Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, Part III, ch. 1[18]
The saint draws from this a warning that has remained famous: those who show themselves affable in society and unbearable at home are "those who in the street seem angels, and at home, devils." Gentleness is verified first toward those close to us, in ordinary little things[19].
Gentleness Toward Oneself
The distinctive originality of Francis de Sales is to have extended gentleness to an unexpected object: ourselves. Many, he says, become angry at having become angry, and thus keep their turmoil alive. To this secret vexation, which is only disappointed pride, the saint opposes a peaceful repentance.
"Raise up your heart therefore when it falls, quite gently, humbling yourself greatly before God for the knowledge of your misery, without being at all astonished at your fall, since it is no wonder that infirmity should be infirm, and weakness weak." — Saint Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, Part III, ch. 9[20]
Here are the major stages in the life of the one custom calls the Doctor of Love — and whose doctrinal authority the Church consecrated by proclaiming him Doctor of the Church.
- 21 August 1567Birth in Savoy
Birth of Francis at the Château de Sales, at Thorens, in Savoy.
- 8 December 1602Bishop of Geneva
Consecrated Bishop of Geneva, he resides in Annecy, the episcopal see being in Calvinist hands. He governs by persuasion and gentleness rather than by severity.
- 1608Introduction to the Devout Life
First edition of his masterpiece (Lyon, Pierre Rigaud). The definitive edition (1619) devotes two chapters to gentleness, toward neighbor (III, 8) and toward oneself (III, 9) — gentleness is there called "the flower of charity."
- 6 June 1610Foundation of the Visitation
With Saint Jane Frances de Chantal, he founds the Order of the Visitation of Holy Mary, wholly placed under the sign of humility and gentleness.
- 28 December 1622Death in Lyon
He dies in Lyon, worn out by his ministry, at age 55. His friend Vincent de Paul will testify as a witness at his beatification process, in 1628.
- 19 April 1665Canonization
Pope Alexander VII canonizes him. His reputation for holiness rested largely on his heroic gentleness.
- 1877Doctor of the Church
Pope Pius IX proclaims him Doctor of the Church — official recognition of the authority of his spiritual teaching.
- 1923Patron of Journalists
For the third centenary of his death, Pius XI declares him patron of journalists and writers, in the encyclical "Rerum omnium perturbationem."
Saint Vincent de Paul: Gentleness Wrung from a Bilious Heart
The finest commentary on Francis de Sales was surely his friend and witness of sanctity: Saint Vincent de Paul (1581-1660). Friend and admirer of the Bishop of Geneva — at whose beatification process he testified as a witness in 1628 — he made gentleness one of his favorite virtues[21].
Gentleness Makes One Constant and Steadfast in Good
Against the received idea that makes gentleness a weakness, the Vincentian teaching goes in the opposite direction: it is the gentle who endure, and the irascible who falter. Jean-Yves Ducourneau's anthology attributes to him on this point the maxim — that gentle and meek persons are the most constant and steadfast in good, while those who give way to anger are ordinarily more inconstant — but the primary source of this saying has not been found[22].
The Three Acts of Gentleness
In his conference "On Gentleness" of 28 March 1659 (Coste, vol. XII), Vincent de Paul details three acts: repressing the first movement, offering a serene countenance, passing over offenses.
"Here then is the first act of gentleness, which is to repress the contrary movement as soon as one feels it […] The second concerns the welcoming of persons […] The third act of gentleness is when […] one shows nothing of it, or else one says it while excusing him […]" — Saint Vincent de Paul, conference "On Gentleness," 28 March 1659[23]
And the saint goes further than mere patience: gentleness requires that we treat gently even those who wound us.
"Gentleness does not only make us excuse the affronts and injustices we receive, but it even wants us to treat gently those who do them to us, with friendly words. […] A servant of God who possesses it well, when violence is laid upon him, offers this harsh treatment to his divine goodness and remains at peace." — Saint Vincent de Paul, conference "On Gentleness," 28 March 1659[24]
The Gentleness of Mystics and Little Souls
Beside the great doctors, another voice is heard: that of mystics and "little souls" who lived gentleness in the tiniest details of daily life — a word held back, a smile, a judgment suspended.
Saint Thérèse of Lisieux: "How Sweet It Is to Say Nothing"
Thérèse (1873-1897) made gentleness a weapon of her "little way": not defending oneself, not explaining, letting the offense fall. A few months before her death, she confided:
"When we are misunderstood and judged unfavorably, what is the point of defending ourselves, of explaining? Let it fall, let us say nothing, how sweet it is to say nothing, to let oneself be judged no matter how! […] O blessed silence that gives so much peace to the soul!" — Saint Thérèse of the Child Jesus, Last Conversations, 6 April 1897[25]
Saint Catherine of Siena: Neighbor, Occasion of Every Virtue
For Catherine of Siena (1347-1380), to whom the Eternal Father speaks in the Dialogue, the difficult neighbor is not an obstacle to virtue: he is its providential instrument. It is upon the irascible that gentleness is exercised, as humility upon the proud.
"It is through neighbor that the virtues are practiced, and especially patience when he receives injuries from him. He exercises his humility with the proud, his faith with the unbeliever, his hope with the one who despairs, his justice with the unjust, his goodness with the wicked, his gentleness with the one who is angry. Neighbor is the occasion of every virtue." — The Eternal Father to Saint Catherine of Siena, The Book of Dialogues, ch. VIII[26]
The same Dialogue adds that returning good for evil not only proves virtue: it communicates it, and places "the burning coals of charity" upon the neighbor's head[27].
Luisa Piccarreta: "Gentleness Can Change the Nature of Things"
In the writings of the Servant of God Luisa Piccarreta (1865-1947, nulla osta from the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith in June 2024, confirmed on 3 December 2024), Jesus presents gentleness as a transforming force.
"My daughter, [gentleness] can change the nature of things. It can make bitterness sweet. So be more gentle!" — Jesus to Luisa Piccarreta, The Book of Heaven, vol. 2, 23 May 1899[28]
Nearly three months later, another teaching concerns charity of speech: before speaking of neighbor, examining oneself, then "trying to speak as I would have spoken" — speaking, says Jesus, "with [his] own tongue"[29].
Gabrielle Bossis: Gentleness at Ground Level
The French mystic Gabrielle Bossis (1874-1950) sums up the whole teaching in a startling formula, which captures the movement proper to gentleness: severity toward self, indulgence toward others.
"Be hard on yourself and gentle with others." — Jesus to Gabrielle Bossis, He and I[30]
Like any private revelation, these words do not bind faith, but they illuminate the common practice of the saints.
Gentleness Is Not Weakness: Firmness Without Passion
If the saints insist so much, it is because they know the two ways of missing gentleness: the harshness that flares up, and the false gentleness that no longer dares to correct. Their teaching holds the balance: a firmness without passion.
Correcting Without Anger
All the saints correct — but none corrects under the sting of indignation. Saint Paul himself makes it a law of fraternal correction: "Brothers, if someone is caught in a fault, you, the spiritual ones, set him back on the right path in a spirit of gentleness" (Gal 6:1, AELF)[31]. Saint Josemaría Escrivá (1902-1975) gives the practical rule:
"Do not reprove when you are indignant about the fault committed. Wait till the next day, or even longer. Then, once you are calm and your intention is purified, do not fail in your duty to correct. You will achieve more with a word of affection than with three hours of argument. Master your character." — Saint Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, no. 10[32]
The venerable Francis Libermann (1802-1852), first Superior General of the Congregation of the Holy Spirit and of the Holy Heart of Mary, wrote to a seminarian tempted to bring all his confreres around to his opinion in divine matters: "Rigor, in such matters, has fateful consequences." One cannot, he explained, change others at will — "we could never succeed in changing others. And if sometimes, in such a case, we manage it, it is to their detriment" — and it is "with peace, gentleness, moderation, and interior sweetness" that one must act[33].
Gentleness, a Strength That Changes Hearts Where Rigor Fails
This is the paradox the saints oppose to the world. The world believes one prevails by force; the saints know one durably wins a heart only by gentleness. Saint Francis de Sales illustrated it with an image of his time: "Nothing so tames the enraged elephant as the sight of a lamb, and nothing so easily breaks the force of cannon fire as wool"[34]. Firmness remains — one must "resist evil and repress the vices" — but "gently and peacefully," never with passion.
There lies the whole teaching of the voice of the saints: gentleness takes nothing away from strength; it takes away only violence.
What to Retain from the Voice of the Saints
Taken together, these voices sketch a single portrait, worlds away from the softness attributed to gentleness. Christ and Moses show that it coexists with the greatest firmness; the Fathers, that it guards the charity that anger destroys; Francis de Sales, that it is "the flower of charity" and the virtue of most daily use; Vincent de Paul, who details its three acts; Thérèse and the mystics, that it is played out in a word held back and a judgment suspended.
Above all, Francis de Sales, the Doctor of Love, and Vincent de Paul, his friend, lived and taught it as a strength to be conquered. This is the consolation the voice of the saints addresses to every hot-tempered character: gentleness is not a birth gift reserved for placid natures, but a grace and a victory offered to all. "Learn from me," says Christ — and they learned.
Further Reading
- How to Grow in Gentleness — the practical counterpart to this article: the nature of gentleness as a virtue that moderates anger, its two counterfeits (irascible harshness and soft false gentleness), the concrete means the saints use to make it grow, and its fruits.
- How to Grow in the Struggle Against Anger — the underlying battle against the vice that gentleness moderates: its roots, its tricks, its remedies.
- How to Grow in Patience — the sister virtue, which bears present evil without collapse; the saints are often gentle and patient together.
- How to Grow in Humility — the twin virtue that Christ unites to gentleness: "gentle and humble of heart" (Mt 11:29).
- What the Saints Say About Humility — an anthology of the virtue Christ associates with gentleness.
- What the Saints Say About Patience — the voice of the saints on the sister of gentleness.
- What the Saints Say About Charity — the virtue of which gentleness is, according to Saint Francis de Sales, "the flower."
Notes and References
Gospel according to Saint Matthew 11:28-29, official liturgical translation: "Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Vulgate: "discite a me, quia mitis sum et humilis corde." These are the only two qualities — gentleness and humility — that Christ explicitly asks us to learn from him.
1 2Saint Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, Part III, ch. 8: ""Learn from me, he says, for I am gentle and humble of heart." Humility perfects us with regard to God, and gentleness with regard to neighbor… [gentleness] excels among the virtues as being the flower of charity, which, according to Saint Bernard, is in its perfection when not only is it patient, but when, besides, it is gentle and debonair."
3 17Gospel according to Saint Matthew 5:5, official liturgical translation: "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the land." The Greek praeis (πραεῖς, "meek") echoes Psalm 37:11 (AELF; 36:11 in the Vulgate): "The meek shall possess the land and rejoice in abundant peace." The land is promised not by conquest, but as an inheritance received.
4Saint Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274), Summa Theologiae, II-II, q. 157, a. 1, corpus: "mansuetudo autem proprie diminuit passionem irae" — "meekness properly mitigates the passion of anger" (translation of the article; in English, Dominican Fathers' translation: "meekness properly mitigates the passion of anger"). Art. 2 establishes that clemency and meekness are indeed virtues (cf. Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics, IV, 5).
5Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologiae, II-II, q. 157, a. 3: meekness moderates within the passion of anger, clemency moderates without the punishment; both are "annexed to temperance as to their principal virtue" (a. 3), sharing its movement of restraint.
6Catechism of the Catholic Church, § 1832, citing Galatians 5:22-23 (Vulgate): "The fruits of the Spirit are perfections the Holy Spirit forms in us as first fruits of eternal glory… The tradition of the Church enumerates twelve: charity, joy, peace, patience, longanimity, goodness, benignity, meekness, fidelity, modesty, continence, chastity." Official French edition, Mame/Plon, 1992. Meekness is expressly listed.
7Book of Numbers 12:3, official liturgical translation (AELF): "Now Moses was very humble, the humblest man the earth has ever borne." The Vulgate reads "Erat enim Moyses vir mitissimus super omnes homines qui morabantur in terra"; the Hebrew anaw unites gentleness and humility — precisely the pair of Christ in Mt 11:29. Moses, meek par excellence, was also the firm leader who confronted Pharaoh. Num 12:13 (AELF): "Moses cried out to the Lord: 'God, I beg you, heal her!'"
8First Letter of Saint Peter 2:21-23, official liturgical translation: "It is for this that you were called, for Christ also suffered for you; he left you a model that you might follow in his steps… When insulted, he returned no insult; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but handed himself over to the one who judges justly." Apostolic model of gentleness as non-violence of the heart; cf. Mt 26:52 (AELF): "Put back your sword, for all who take the sword will perish by the sword."
9Saint John Cassian (c. 360-435), Conferences, I, 7, ed. Sources Chrétiennes 42 bis, Cerf, 2008, p. 101: "We gain less by fasting than we lose by a movement of anger; and the profit we draw from reading does not equal the harm incurred by contempt for a brother." Ascetical exercises are ordered to purity of heart, that is, to charity.
10Saint Basil of Caesarea (c. 330-379), Letter 2 to Gregory of Nazianzus, § 5: "Harshness is ever to be put aside, even in censuring…" — "harshness must always be set aside, even when blame is needed" (translation of the article from the English text; French text in Saint Basile, Lettres, ed. Yves Courtonne, Les Belles Lettres). Counsels on conversation to an ascetic, not a rule of governance: neither superior nor humility of the superior is in question.
11Saint Ambrose of Milan (c. 339-397), On the Duties (De officiis ministrorum), Book I, on anger: children "flare up quickly among themselves, but calm down easily and run to join one another with greater gentleness; they do not know how to deal with cunning and artifice." Model of innocence without rancor.
12Saint Augustine (354-430), Commentary on the First Letter of Saint John (In epistulam Ioannis ad Parthos), treatise 7, n. 8 (PL 35, 2033): "Dilige, et quod vis fac: sive taceas, dilectione taceas; sive clames, dilectione clames; sive emendes, dilectione emendes; sive parcas, dilectione parcas" — "Love, and do what you will: if you keep silent, keep silent out of love; if you cry out, cry out of love; if you correct, correct out of love; if you forgive, forgive out of love" (translation of the article). Augustine immediately adds: "quaedam vero videntur aspera, videntur truculenta; sed fiunt ad disciplinam dictante caritate" — certain acts appear harsh and severe, but they are done to correct, dictated by charity.
13Saint Francis de Sales, born on 21 August 1567 at the Château de Sales, at Thorens (now Thorens-Glières, Haute-Savoie), died in 1622, Bishop of Geneva (residing in Annecy). Canonized by Alexander VII in 1665, proclaimed Doctor of the Church by Pius IX in 1877, declared patron of journalists and writers by Pius XI in 1923 (encyclical Rerum omnium perturbationem, for the 3rd centenary of his death). Nicknamed the "Doctor of Love" — a title Saint John Paul II gave him, recalled by Francis in the apostolic letter Totum amoris est (28 December 2022). The catechesis of Benedict XVI of 2 March 2011 presents him as Bishop and Doctor of the Church, without the epithet "doctor of gentleness." Cf. Francis de Sales, biography by his nephew Charles-Auguste de Sales (1634).
14 15Saint Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life (1st ed. 1608; definitive ed. 1619), Part III, ch. 8 (On Gentleness Toward Neighbor and Remedy Against Anger): "[…] since no angry man ever thought his anger to be unjust. It is therefore better to undertake to know how to live without anger than to wish to make moderate and wise use of anger […]"
16Saint Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, Part III, ch. 1 (On the Choice Regarding the Exercise of Virtues): "Opportunities to practice fortitude, magnanimity, magnificence do not often present themselves; but gentleness, temperance, considerateness, and humility are virtues with which all the actions of our lives must be tinged… Sugar is more excellent than salt; but salt has a more frequent and more general use."
18Saint Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, Part III, ch. 8: "When you are in tranquility and without any cause for anger, make great provision of gentleness and debonairness." The saint denounces "those who in the street seem angels, and at home, devils": gentleness is verified first toward those close to us.
19Saint Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, Part III, ch. 9 (On Gentleness Toward Ourselves): "Raise up your heart therefore when it falls, quite gently, humbling yourself greatly before God for the knowledge of your misery, without being at all astonished at your fall, since it is no wonder that infirmity should be infirm, and weakness weak." The vexation one feels against oneself, he adds, comes from the fact that "these fits of anger, vexation, and bitterness against oneself tend to pride and have no origin but self-love."
20Saint Vincent de Paul (1581-1660), founder of the Congregation of the Mission (Lazarists) and of the Daughters of Charity, canonized by Clement XII on 16 June 1737. Friend and admirer of Saint Francis de Sales, at whose beatification process he testified as a witness in 1628. Cf. L. Abelly, The Life of the Venerable Servant of God Vincent de Paul, 1664.
21Maxim attributed to Saint Vincent de Paul by Jean-Yves Ducourneau's anthology, Saint Vincent de Paul Through His Writings, Médiaspaul, 2003, p. 89 — primary source unidentified: to be read as a reported saying, not as a verified quotation.
22Saint Vincent de Paul, conference 202 "On Gentleness," 28 March 1659, in P. Coste (ed.), Saint Vincent de Paul: Correspondence, Conferences, Documents, vol. XII, Paris, 1924, pp. 188, 189, and 191: "Here then is the first act of gentleness, which is to repress the contrary movement as soon as one feels it, whether by stopping…" (p. 188); "…toward persons" (p. 189); "The third act of gentleness is when… one shows nothing of it, or else one says it while excusing him…" (p. 191). Cuts marked by […].
23Saint Vincent de Paul, conference 202 "On Gentleness," 28 March 1659, in P. Coste (ed.), Saint Vincent de Paul: Correspondence, Conferences, Documents, vol. XII, Paris, 1924, p. 192: "…with friendly words…" (friendly, not kind); unmarked cut in the previous version: "…and, if they should go so far in outrage as to strike a blow, let it be borne for God; and it is this virtue that produces that effect. Yes,".
24Saint Thérèse of the Child Jesus (1873-1897), Last Conversations, Yellow Notebook, 6 April 1897 (no. 1), ed. du Cerf / Desclée de Brouwer: "When we are misunderstood and judged unfavorably, what is the point of defending ourselves, of explaining? Let it fall, let us say nothing, how sweet it is to say nothing, to let oneself be judged no matter how! […] O blessed silence that gives so much peace to the soul!" She invokes the example of Mary of Bethany (whom she calls "St Magdalene"), who did not justify herself before Martha.
25The Eternal Father to Saint Catherine of Siena (1347-1380), The Book of Dialogues, ch. VIII (Treatise on Discretion): "It is through neighbor that the virtues are practiced, and especially patience when he receives injuries from him. He exercises his humility with the proud, his faith with the unbeliever, his hope with the one who despairs, his justice with the unjust, his goodness with the wicked, his gentleness with the one who is angry. Neighbor is the occasion of every virtue." (trans. Cartier).
26The Eternal Father to Saint Catherine of Siena, The Book of Dialogues, ch. VIII (Treatise on Discretion): "Not only do those who return good for evil show their virtue, but they often communicate it. They place the burning coals of charity upon their neighbor's head" (cf. Rom 12:20; trans. Cartier).
27Jesus to Luisa Piccarreta (1865-1947), The Book of Heaven, vol. 2, 23 May 1899 ("Fruits of Gentleness and Detachment"), French translation "for private use," GE – La Volonté Divine / Lumen Luminis, after Guy Harvey's translation, pp. 39-40: "My daughter, gentleness can change the nature of things. It can make bitterness sweet. So be more gentle!" The definite article is missing before "gentleness" in this edition, restored in brackets in the body for French readability. Context: Jesus soothes Luisa, impatient at his absences.
28Jesus to Luisa Piccarreta, The Book of Heaven, vol. 2, 12 August 1899 ("Jesus Transforms Luisa into Himself and Teaches Her the Way to Practice Charity"), French translation "for private use," GE – La Volonté Divine / Lumen Luminis, after Guy Harvey's translation, pp. 76-77: "…rise and try to speak as I would have spoken. In this way, you will speak with my own tongue. And, thus, you will not fail in charity." This entry teaches charity of speech, not gentleness.
29Jesus to Gabrielle Bossis (1874-1950), He and I: Spiritual Conversations, Beauchesne, vol. 1, 1948, no. 19, p. 30: "Be hard on yourself and gentle with others." Private revelation to the French actress and mystic; the formula sums up the reversal proper to gentleness. Like any private revelation, it does not bind faith but illuminates practice.
30Letter to the Galatians 6:1, official liturgical translation: "Brothers, if someone is caught in a fault, you, the spiritual ones, set him back on the right path in a spirit of gentleness; but watch yourselves: you too might be tempted." Cf. 2 Tim 2:25 (AELF): "he must correct opponents with gentleness."
31Saint Josemaría Escrivá de Balaguer (1902-1975), The Way, no. 10: "Do not reproach when you are indignant about the fault committed. Wait till the next day, or even longer. Then, once you are calm and your intention purified, do not fail in your duty to correct. You will achieve more with a word of affection than with three hours of argument. Master your character." French edition, Le Laurier.
32Venerable Francis Libermann (1802-1852), Spiritual Letters, letter CCXIV to a seminarian ("Counsels on Conversations of Piety with His Confreres — Self-Distrust and Gentleness"), Rome, 4 August 1840, vol. II, 2nd ed., Paris, Poussielgue, 1888, p. 468: "Rigor, in such matters, has fateful consequences… we could never succeed in changing others. And if sometimes, in such a case, we manage it, it is to their detriment… let it be with peace, gentleness, moderation, and interior sweetness… Strength and sweetness, that is divine action; that is also the summary of all apostolic action."
33Saint Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, Part III, ch. 8: "We must, indeed, resist evil and repress the vices of those in our charge, constantly and valiantly, but gently and peacefully. Nothing so tames the enraged elephant as the sight of a lamb, and nothing so easily breaks the force of cannon fire as wool."
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